Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Farewell Post: A Draft

Like I said, I'll come up with a decent farewell once I've flushed out all the drafts I have lying around, half-finished or left unpublished for their explicit or potentially scandalous content.

I credit the beginning of my blogging career to Avy back in late 2006. She asked me through text to vote for her blog in one of the online polls hosted by another blog. Back then, I had a very cloudy idea of what a blog was. But then I was so averse to anything that resembled Friendster or social networking that I never caught the wave early on. I only decided to start my own after realizing that it could be good exercise for my then-atrophying writing muscles. I never intended to have a lot of contacts in my blogroll, nor did I ever intend to make my identity known.

I had wanted my blog to be a collection of entries I'd address to one person: a friend who, prior to my undertaking this project, had also collaborated with me on a writing assignment. By writing assignment, I mean we shared a notebook where we wrote just about anything that was on our minds. The notebook would go back and forth between us until we filled the last pages. By extension, I began my blog to address security concerns regarding our project, since a notebook was very hard to hide. Also, the days and weeks spent waiting for the notebook and the other's reply proved too impractical. To address that, I then began my blog.

At first---wait, I can sense the impending boredom this paragraph is going to induce upon us all. I'll discontinue the reminiscences then.

Let me just say that I'm undergoing some kind of funk right now. Perhaps this is a foreboding onslaught of my own seven-year blogging itch.

How shall I describe it? I'm in that phase where I'm trying to make myself scarce. The barrage of Twitters, Plurks, Facebooks, etc., has left me somewhat disgusted by it all.

And I did say that this year is going to be the year when I'll finally get over myself. That by and large would explain why I no longer wish to continue this blog. I just realized that I cannot get over blogging about my life. Somewhere in the middle--or toward the end, to be more exact--I had asked myself if my life was really that important that the whole Web had to know what I was doing.

The excuses just keep pouring in. One reason why I was so eager to blog a long time ago was that I always found something in my day that was worth writing about. Now that life has become a routine--wake up, work, go home, sleep--it's so hard to dig through the drudgery and find something valuable enough to share. And that's how egocentric blogs implode.

That was the long version of my farewell speech. This is the condensed one.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang
But a whimper

T. S. Eliot, "The Hollow Men"