is that noise coming from inside my head?: 1

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

1

I exercise an excess of carefulness--in writing, speaking, or blogging. Carefulness, which can be translated to a form of paranoia. In blogging, especially, I am most careful with the entries I post. I fear that someone I know might stumble upon this blog and find that I am the total opposite of the image I project. That I harbor these sentiments. That I think this way.

Type, erase. Type, Ctrl+A, delete. Edit. Insert new topic. Sanitize text, fill with euphimism and veneer. Filter and release. I blog like this. Ugh, I know, it's sickening. I'm sick.

I do not understand. Where is this text leading to? The voice inside my head--that invisible author--what does it want to me to write?

I need honesty. More honesty. Less pretentiousness. More spontaneity. Openness. Beautiful.

: Name: Adobobo; Location: Davao City, Region XI, Philippines

A lot of people I've met tell me that I'm too quiet; as a result, I have come to believe it myself. However, as one friend so perfectly put it: My silence can be deafening, but my noise can be just as deafening. Because of my retiring nature, some people also have the impression that I'm kind, polite and naive. Perhaps, my blog will wipe out their misguided notions.

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